Eek! The wedding reception is SO SOON! We need to brush up on our Boston accents right away so that we can effectively mingle with the locals!!
Boston Accents 101:
The traditional accent is non-rhotic. That is fancy New England speak meaning they don't pronounce r in words or something. Then there is something about pronouncing a as a broad a. Turns out phonetics and the English language are too hard. I can't understand the Wikipedia article about it. Class dismissed.
Boston Accents 101-Cliff's Notes:
Park the car in Harvard Yard=Pahk the cah in Hahvad Yahd
Lots of cool celebrities have a Boston accent.
Marky Mark, Matt Damon, Ben Afleck, JFK, Connor and Murphy McManus, etc.
Practice the Boston accent with Tom Brady in the video below:
Here are a few Boston vocab words you might find useful for this weekend:
30 rack = a case of beer
packie run = a trip to the liquor store
clicka = remote control
bang a left = turn left
jimmies = sprinkles
suppa = dinner
pissah = excellent
boozie or booze bag = a drunk person
bobos = boat shoes
wicked = not sure what it means but be sure to use it frequently
If you want to fit in do not call it Beantown.
Start practicing!! I can't fahkin wait to have a wicked good pahty.
Hey, friends! If you got an invite to the biggest bash of the summer, don't forget you have one day to RSVP!! Do it!
If there isn't enough ice cream for us because you didn't RSVP you better watch out.
Don't be the one with invisible ice cream. RSVP now!
If you RSVP late the Beyonces will be both annoyed that you are late and glad that you can make it.
Don't you want to love love?
These Dove bars are ready to party. Are you?
WARNING: POSSIBLY EXPLICIT MATERIAL BELOW
At first I thought the ice cream was sweet and hugging. Now that I look again I'm not sure if this is a dirty picture or not. Continue at your own risk. 18 and older only please.
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If you already RSVP'd, I can't wait to see you there and beat you at mini golf.
Last week a group of Charis' friends bid her single life a fond farewell in a post-wedding bachelorette party. Before you start being annoying and asking, "who has a bachelorette party after their wedding?" you should know that it happens to many brides for many different reasons. I will not blog about details of the reasons why or what happened during the party. Instead you can watch this video below of the story of Kellie Pickler's post-wedding bachelorette party. Same difference:
The actual party was in the charming town of Portsmouth, New Hampshire. They have whimsical murals and they like to organize items into piles there.
I spent a few days in the New England area that included trips to Massachusetts and Maine as well. Like I said at the beginning, I'm not going dish on what we did. However, let me fill you in on everything you CAN'T do. Turns out New England has SO MANY RULES!!
1. You can't be happy. Happy Hour is illegal in Boston.
Looking into this the laws were put in place due to copious amounts of drunk driving. In order to reduce accidents they also took away happy hours, open bars, and drink specials.
2. You can't just have a drink. Want to stop and have a nice cocktail outside with friends? Tough crap. On Newbury Street you have to buy food with your drink. Some places even demand that you order off of their entree list just to sit down. Notice this example of some fine folks hanging out in Back Bay. Also notice their lack of drinks and forced smiles.
3. You can't leave your car parked for more than two hours. This is to keep out the cocktail loving riff raff who actually drive themselves places. Only those who are driven in Bentleys get to stay more than 2 hours. Oops.
4. You can't get gas at night. Gas pumps are turned off promptly at 8:30pm. If you stop at 8:25 Sayid is doing you a massive favor by letting you fill your tank.
5. You can't order shots after 11pm. What is it with New England and drinking rules?? Do they know how much money they are losing?
6. You can't go upstairs with your drink. Say you are on the outside deck at a bar and want to go to the inside bar. The exact same bar, just inside instead of outside. You can't take your drink and you have to be carded again even though you already were carded and given a wristband. You also can't take your drink to the bathroom. You must leave it out to get roofied by the creepy lurker guys. Not cool New England.
7. You can't buy foundation with SPF unless the packaging has changed to include specific instruction on how to apply it. Out of foundation? Too bad. Now you are roofied AND you have skin cancer.
I think there are many more rules that I've forgotten. I'm not Puritan enough to remember them all.
Hi, Roomies! I know you are having a wonderful trip. Let me catch you up on what you've been missing.
This is Erin Wright reporting LIVE from the United States of America.
Oops. Wrong Erin.
In TV news Zooey was on SYTYCD this week.
In movie news there are now TWO trailers out with People's Sexiest Man Alive!!
In news that EVERYONE else cares about except for me, CNN and Fox News told everyone that the Supreme Court overturned ObamaCare. People pretended to be surprised that Fox News reported bad information. Facebook poses as healthcare experts.
In news that NO ONE else cares about except for me...the XGames are back! I am slightly depressed that my ginger exception Shaun White is not back this year to embarrass all of the full time skateboarders.
But so far these games have been CRAZY enough for me to be ok with it.
In this week's weather news the desertification of the United States is continuing.
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