"All right, you sons of bitches. You know how I feel."

“If I were to remain silent, I'd be guilty of complicity.” ~Albert Einstein

 

I fall short of having enough eloquence to adequately express my concern for fellow residents of the Internet.  I was browsing through my Pinterest page today, and found a pin that disturbed the innermost depths of my soul.  If you are the Pinner and read this blog, this is not a personal attack but rather an intervention with the world. 

 

Now, in this vast world, there are many things that look cute that are not safe to handle.

 

Tigers, bears, pandas, Matthew Fox all come to mind.

 

 

Friends of the internet, I advise you to stay as far away from this as possible.  Yes, it looks cute.  You might have a false sense of an ability to make this easily.  You may even mistakenly believe that it will be a fun project. 

 

It all started with Cinco de Mayo.  Now the trend is attempting to hijack other holidays.  I've seen The Nightmare Before Christmas too many times to forget that stealing holidays ends in misery for the whole planet. 

 

The following four frames summarize hours worth of pain and suffering.  It is my hope that by raising awareness we can stop the cycle of abuse together.  If this blog helps to prevent at least one person from making a dire mistake then we are making progress.

 

WARNING:  DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DO THIS AT HOME!!  IT IS USING HALLOWEEN AS A TRICK.  THESE ARE STILL THE SAME PINATA TERRORS!

 

If it is too late to stop you and you've suffered through this baking experience, please know that you aren't alone.  There are people out there who understand. 

 

 

Kilroy was here. Olé.

I saw some of you there, but if I didn't see you I worked the information desk at Artscape the other weekend.  If you missed it, you can check out the highlights here: https://www.facebook.com/Artscape.Baltimore


Today, I received a Gmail with a SurveyMonkey to give feedback about my experience volunteering for Artscape.
 
Side note: Survey Monkey, I still haven't got over the fact that you took away my Zoomerang.  As if zoomerang wasn't a stupid enough word, I now send surveys to co-workers referencing monkeys and actually ask them to take it seriously.  Should I really have to be put through this mockery just because I don't want to pay for surveys??  Sigh. 

So...nice little innocent me is dutifully filling out a survey, sharing constructive feedback, trying to make a positive impact on future generations of volunteers, when I received an ambush Gchat message.

You may notice that the culprit signed off so quickly that I didn't get to express my gratitude with a series of expletives...and hearts...and more expletives.  Instead, I am making you all look at the website with me.

The hit and run chatter sent the following link to a website about piñatas at weddings.
http://blog.theknot.com/2013/07/25/12-wedding-pinatas-were-obsessed-with/

Even though I knew I would regret it, I clicked on the link.  It takes you to a page of twelve wedding piñatas, all of which are about as annoying as this one:


Piñata cookies did not even make this list of "cool" wedding piñatas, but maybe they should have.  As much as they are a terrible nightmare to make, even I can admit that they are A LOT more fun than having crazy white people in designer gowns blindfolded and hitting their guests with sticks. 
I can only imagine what my Gramma would have to say about this idea.


Morals of this story.
-Volunteering will always come back to bite you in the ass one way or another.
-Getting me to make a blog post is as easy as sending me something annoying about weddings.
-Piñatas aren't just for quinceañeras anymore.
 
-I also found out that a whopping 340ish people accidently read this blog because they were googling Boston accents.  I hope they found it useful.  Suckahs.

Շնորհավոր տարեդարձ

Our favorite love birds made it through the first year of marriage!


In the US there is a traditional gift assigned to each anniversary year.  They start of simple and then increase in value.  This represents the level of investment the couple has made to each other.  The traditional gift for a first anniversary is paper. 
 

Paper is a lovely gift with a  variety of uses from ranging from boring cards to exciting fortune telling games.
   

It is also relatively inexpensive since the traditional couple is still broke from having a wedding.


There is also the Valentine's Day of Anniversary lists known as the Modern Anniversary Gift list.  The traditional list has gift ideas for 1-15th anniversaries and then every fifth anniversary after that up to 60.  In order to make more money a group of greedy jewelers got together an made a new list so that we spend more money.
 
The modern list replaces old-fashioned gifts with more practical (expensive) items, and has ideas for more years of celebrations. 

If you are more of a modern couple the modern wedding gift for a first anniversary is a clock.



The couples can decide if they enjoy writing or telling time together.

If you want to relive all of the excitement of the wedding last year you should check out Team Charam featured on an actual real blog.  There is just something about the cinco de marriage wedding that bloggers love.
 

Also, this same blog blogged about The Terror That Shall Not be Named.  I can now rest well knowing that many others out there will unknowingly embark on a journey of stress and anxiety.  Revenge is mine.